Chasing the Texas Wind Read online

  “So you don’t think Angelita has any real feelings for you?” Ham asked.

  Zachary looked troubled. “I can’t help what she thinks she feels about me,” he said. “She feels bad about me, she’s trying to help me, to taking care of me. I didn’t mean to encourage anything else. Do you think I did? Maybe I need to make it clear.”

  “You’ve been a perfect gentleman, Zach. Sometimes a girl gets the idea she’s in love with a man because they’ve shared a big trouble,” Ham said. “She doesn’t have to be encouraged. You owe her a lot. We’d have been looking for you in the wrong place, and maybe never succeeded in getting you out, and she’s nursed you. You owe her kindness, my boy, if nothing else.”

  “I’ll try to give her that,” Zachary responded “I’m not good with women. There are so many things that are more important, and easier to understand and deal with.”

  “My boy, there is nothing more important than the right woman,” Ham said fervently. “God made Eve for Adam. Abraham’s Sarah was still turning the heads of kings at ninety. Rebecca just hopped off a camel and Isaac loved her. Solomon’s wives turned his heart from the Lord and brought down the wisest king the world ever had. The right woman can give you something to do your job for. The wrong one can destroy you. Women are so powerful. Women are so wonderful. Sure, they’re dangerous, but only if they’re bad ones. It’s up to you to keep your eyes on the prize – the job to be done and the woman just past the end of it who is your very great reward. I’m not saying your woman is Angelita. I just don’t want you to be so sure you don’t need one.”

  Zachary slept. Angelita sat in the bedroom with him. Ham sat at the kitchen table and watched Maeve bustle around doing things that didn’t need to be done.

  “Mrs. Jessup,” Ham said finally, finding that the words stuck in his throat and he felt most unworthy to say them, “I was wondering if we could talk about something. I was telling Zachary I’m keeping my eyes on the prize but the truth is I don’t know if there really is one for me. You being the prize I mean. You’ve said you only have eyes for me but that sounded like a joke. I want you to understand this is the one thing I don’t want to joke about. I love you. I want to marry you, especially now that you’re a believer.”

  “I understand that God forgives sin,” Maeve said, not looking at Ham. “I know I’m forgiven, and saved, and I’m not the person I was. But aren’t there some sins that you just have to live with, and realize that even though God forgives you, you can’t just pretend they never happened? Because I can’t forget, I can’t forgive myself, I can’t stop thinking that what I did with Chaco will never be right.”

  “Maeve, I read your diary,” Ham protested. “I know Chaco forced you.”

  “That isn’t what I’m talking about.” Maeve shook her head. “If you read my diary you know what I said about that, and about you and me. At the time we made our agreement it wasn’t a real marriage to me, but I’ve thought about you so much, and I realized that in God’s eyes it may have been a real marriage. You were supposed to be my husband, and I betrayed you. I let people think you beat me, and it was Chaco. I thought I was encouraging you to drink, knowing you were worried about me, because it helped my cover.

  “I fooled myself into thinking I was being a good soldier, a good spy. I’ll never be like Jesse Costain. I’ll never be that sweet, strong, wholesome woman everybody looks at and says, ‘There’s a woman of God.’ I’ll be the one where they have to kick themselves in the backside and skedaddle away as fast as they can.”

  “Maeve, you ought to know something about Jesse,” Ham said softly. “She was a complete rebel. She left home, she fell into all kinds of sin, and she spent every dime she had inherited from her maternal grandparents. When she came up broke she came home bitter and still rebellious. Dan had gotten close to the Duvalls through Jude Morrow and he fell head over heels in love with Jesse the first time he saw her. He thought he could reform her, and she was trying to tear her family apart. Dan married her to get her away from the family, kind of to rescue them from her.

  “Oh, the struggles he went through before she accepted the Lord. She wouldn’t have anything to do with her family, and he was hungry for Christian fellowship because he grew up without it. I didn’t get that part at the time, but he told me about all the wild stuff she did, and how he prayed for her, and loved her, and she finally straightened out, but it took years. Anyway, at the time of Dan’s wedding she and I were both like volcanoes ready to explode. I had just convinced myself I’d never have a woman of my own because I wasn’t a whole man, but I couldn’t be in the same room with her and not be trying to take her clothes off in my head. I made sure I was good and drunk so all I would do is fall down and laugh.”

  Ham took a deep breath, still not looking at Maeve, but feeling her trembling near him. “Every man wants a beautiful woman every time he sees her,” Ham said. “She might not always be the same woman. And she might only be beautiful in his eyes. God made us to want one woman but we’re sinners. And sometimes a woman sees the power she has over men and figures it’s the only power she has. It’s all sin, Maeve, and it all has to go under the blood – What you feel about Chaco, what I feel about Jesse Costain – What we all feel is no way to judge how God looks at us. Our feelings are sinful just like the rest of us. We say, ‘Look at this! Look what I did!’ And He says, ‘Look at what? I only see my Son’s blood. He poured it out, once for all. He’s not going to do it again, so you get your head on straight and start feeling forgiven, because you are.’“

  “Ham, you are – “ Maeve broke off, breathed deeply, looked straight at Ham, tried again, “There’s no star in heaven as bright and clear and pure and beautiful as you and I’m – I’m the one who’s not worthy. I heard everything you just said, but I have to tell you my tainted feelings.”

  “Maeve, can I just say that I said almost the exact thing to little Zach about you a few minutes ago?” Ham took her hands and kissed them. “I don’t know much about astronomy, but I hear there are supposed to be twin stars that always keep together in the same orbit. Maybe we can be content to be like that, always remembering how we’re not worthy of that other bright star sailing over there through Heaven, but knowing God made us to go on together. Think we can do that?”

  Maeve sprang out of her chair and threw herself into Ham’s arms. He embraced her also, breathed her in, kissed her, and then set her carefully back down in the chair.

  “There, now,” he said with a sigh. “Zachary was right. Sometimes a woman can keep you from thinking about the job. We have to get out of here before Chaco comes back, in three days or less. Zachary has to stay down for a week, possibly two. Our comrades on the outside probably can’t get in to rescue us because of the number of men with guns guarding Chaco’s ammo, and even if they could, they’d still want Zachary to walk or ride or crawl out of here and I don’t think he can. There’s a solution, but I sure don’t like it. The doc’s not going to like it either, and there’s no way in the world Zachary’s going like it. I just don’t see any other way.”

  “Oh, Colonel,” Zachary said when Ham told him what he was thinking. “Court-martial me for a coward but it makes what happened before sound like fun. My pa put me through the drill on torture, and when he came up with what you just said as a possibility I said, ‘All right, I’m all in, I won’t go.’ And he kind of laughed and said we’d just have to pray it wouldn’t happen, because he didn’t know if he could stand it either. There’s got to be some other way.”

  “Tell me one,” Ham challenged. “Obviously you’ve got a head on your shoulders. Get yourself safely out of this town before three days are up and me and Mrs. Jessup and Angelita with you. I’ll leave you alone to think about it if you like.” Ham rose.

  “Zachary, if it helps any, the colonel was at Goliad,” Maeve said softly. “He said he had to bury himself in the sand and stay there for hours to hide from the Mexicans who were killing his comrades. He understands what he’s asking you to do, beli
eve me.”

  “Retrons chez nous?” Angelita asked from her seat by Zachary’s bedside.

  “Going home?” Zachary groaned. Zachary was astonished at the effort it took to reach out his hand and take Angelita’s. “Angelita,” he said softly, “Nous piege.” She had looked so happy when he took her hand, but his words changed the look to concerned. Zachary hadn’t really ever had conversations with Grandpere about gunmen and standoffs, so the words weren’t quite there. He tried pantomime. Pointing at her, at himself, toward Ham and Maeve, making a sweeping, inclusive movement toward the window. The effort drained him completely and he sank back and closed his eyes. “Colonel you need to explain your plan to her.”

  Ham tried to while Zachary lay listening. When he opened his eyes again Angelita had a very strange look on her face. She looked around furtively, patted his shoulder and turned to go. “Angelita, attendre,” Zachary called. “Qu’essayes-tu au juste de faire?”

  “Porter secours,” Angelita replied, making a sweeping gesture of her own. She smiled broadly, nodded, and got up to leave.

  “She thinks she knows a way to help?” Ham asked. “Dire comment. How?”

  Angelita just smiled and quickly went out the door. Maeve started to follow.

  “She’s not in any danger,” Ham said, pulling her back. “At least I can’t imagine why she would be. Let her go.”

  The doctor came out on the porch of Vienta’s house. “I’m very sorry, Señorita,” he said in Spanish in tones that carried far down the street. “He was very old, and he lived a full live. I’ll take care of the arrangements for you.” Maeve held a handkerchief to her eyes and Ham stood by her side, his giant sombrero in his hand, bandage trailing down over his shoulder, patting her arm. “Muchacha,” he said.

  “Gracias, Señor Doctor,” Maeve replied. The doctor went off down the street. A few minutes later Jorges Ortega, Chaco’s second-in-command, advanced toward the front steps, carrying a rifle with a glossy black strap ornamented with silver conchos over his shoulder. “Señorita Vienta, has something happened?” he asked.

  “My father has died, Jorges,” Maeve replied. “He made me promise to bury him at home, in Chollo. I don’t know what to do. I have to wait for Chaco to get back. He’ll be so angry if I leave again without telling him.”

  “ Señorita, you must obey your father’s wishes,” Jorges said firmly. He crossed himself and looked upward. “The teniente will understand, I’m sure. I’ll send our fastest messenger to him immediately. As soon as the coffin is ready, send word to me. You shall have an honor guard of ten men. I wish I could spare more, but we must guard the ammunition. Possibly Chaco will join you in Chollo for the burial.”

  “Oh, ten men are not necessary, surely,” Maeve protested. “The ammunition is so important. Five would be enough.”

  “Five men to escort the teniente’s woman and her father?” Jorges scoffed. “He would strip the hide off me. No, Señorita, do not worry. You shall be treated with the respect you deserve, and your father’s spirit shall know we in Avecita honor him. Make your preparations. I will let the people of the town know, so that they may pay their respects and assist you.”

  “Oh, Jorges,” Maeve said, squeezing back a tear, “don’t you understand what these people think of me?” Jorges was new in town, a soldier from one of the divisions farther south. “I am an immoral woman to them, the cantina owner, Chaco’s whore. He is not here to remind them of all they owe him.”

  “No one would dare be disrespectful to you, Señorita,” Jorges growled. “We will teach them better manners.”

  “No, please, Jorges,” Maeve protested. “It would disturb my father’s spirit to have so much conflict. I will prepare him. Herve will help me, and if you could find the girl I brought back with me, Angelita, and send her, I know she’ll help. Thank you so much.”

  “By the way, Señorita, the teniente said to give you this,” Jorges said, unslinging the rifle he carried and holding it out. “It was the young gringo’s. He said you asked for it. You are lucky to get such a fine weapon. Here is the ammunition he had with him.”

  “Thank you, Jorges,” Maeve said, eyes wide, as she stared at the rifle. Jorges marched off. Maeve and Ham went back into the house. “I wish we could have talked him down to five,” Ham growled. “But I didn’t think it would work. He did say ten guards are coming, right?”

  “Ten men,” Maeve nodded. “And people from the town will follow the wagon for a while, too. They have to. It’s the custom, in spite of my protests that people despise me. They don’t dare show any disrespect to Chaco’s woman, really, and we’d better hope they don’t show up to pay their respects anyway.”

  “I’m surprised your Jorges didn’t,” Ham said. “Though I’m grateful. Chaco would have wanted to view the body, and he’ll dress that boy down for not doing it in his stead. Anyway, maybe a little Herve giving them ‘the eye’ will keep them at bay. They actually started work on the coffin as soon as we came up with this plan, according to the doctor, and he told them to rush it, so it’ll be ready just about dusk, I think.”

  “What is that commotion?” Maeve asked, hearing voices outside. She glanced out the window. “Oh, no,” she gasped. “It’s Angelita, and she’s got at least ten people with her. They’ve got flowers, and drapes – Oh, Ham, what do we do?”

  Ham drew the rifle out of Maeve’s numbed hands and checked the loading. “I hope you don’t mind your little hacienda becoming a besieged fort,” he said grimly. “If you can’t put them off, I’ll see how many of the guards out there I can pick off. That should get rid of the weeping horde. Mourners don’t want to be in the middle of a war zone. Then we’ll definitely need a new plan. Oh this rifle is a dandy, and God sent it just in time.”

  Maeve’s heart pounded as she slipped out the front door. Angelita sprang up on the porch and kissed her. Maeve looked down at the group of people, some in shawls and large hats, some bending low under burdens of black crape. John Duvall lifted the brim of his hat and winked at her. Maeve almost fainted there on the porch. John rushed to lift her up and stuck his face deliberately into the front window. He got a glimpse of Ham’s pale, determined face and his cousin’s rifle muzzle. Ham looked as if he might faint, too, and put the gun aside. Everyone crowded into the tiny kitchen.

  John handled introductions. Most of the men were Tejanos. One was Jude Morrow. The “women” shed their shawls and heads carves and checked their guns.

  “We’ve been hanging around in the brush watching,” John said, “How’s my baby cousin?” John asked.

  “Go and see,” Ham said, waving. John vanished. Jude Morrow stepped up and shook Ham’s hand. He was short, slightly built, about fifty-five years old, with dyed black hair and nut-brown skin dye. Ham looked at him in disbelief.

  “You’re the last man on earth I expected to shake hands with again,” Ham breathed. He grabbed Jude and hugged him.

  “I’ve been waiting a long time to embrace you as a brother in Christ,” Jude said. “Dan always knew you’d get yourself right. He’s looking down over the battlements and smiling at you, boy.”

  Ham shook his head. “He’d better hold that till we’re actually out of here,” he frowned. “Angelita told you our plan, I guess.”

  “You got Zach to agree to be boxed up in a coffin?” Jude demanded. “That boy’s so scared of closed places we couldn’t get him to hunt bear with us for fear he’d have to go into a cave. So’s Jedediah, for that matter.”

  “He’s a grand soldier, and he takes his orders,” Ham responded. “Even when I don’t like to give ‘em. Maeve, this man was the one Dan and I reported to in the army. Made Brigadier before you retired, didn’t you, sir? After my stunt at Dan’s wedding I never thought he’d speak to me again. He was the minister who married them, by the way.”

  “And then there’s this lady.” Jude took Maeve by the shoulders and kissed her cheek. “That’s a holy kiss, ma’am, I assure you,” he said. “Miss Angelita told us about your conversio
n. She’s a brave girl, and a smart one, and you’re lucky to have her on your side. She just trekked out in the desert picking flowers and John figured out she was looking for help. I don’t know how far she would have walked if we hadn’t decided to trust her. By the way, we decided we’re some of your father’s friends from Chollo who just knew it was almost his time and came down in anticipation. But Ham, is this your Mrs. Jessup? I had no idea.”

  “This is my Mrs. Jessup,” Ham grinned. “At least she will be. Say, General, since you are a minister, could I ask a favor?”

  “A favor?” Jude echoed. “Oh. I see. Weddings and funerals together, is that what we’re planning here? You want to take a chance on making this lady a widow or yourself a widower, since the danger is just as real for her as it is for her?”

  “I’ll take that chance,” Maeve said with a smile, taking Ham’s hand. “Please, General Morrow, if you’d be so kind, we’d like to make it real as soon as possible.”

  The rest of the men busied themselves making the house suitably funereal while Jude Morrow married Ham and Maeve in the bedroom with Zachary and Angelita as witnesses. Jude translated into Spanish for Angelita’s benefit, and when it was over Ham kissed the bride a long time while Zachary pounded on the coverlet and Angelita cried.

  “Congratulations, Colonel,” Zachary grinned. “Say, is that my rifle?” Zachary perked up suddenly as he noticed the gun, which Ham had brought in and laid on the wardrobe. “Thank the Lord. How in the world did you get that back?”

  “Mrs. Jessup is a woman of many talents,” Ham said proudly. “You can thank her later.”

  “Coffin’s here,” someone from outside whispered into the window. Zachary gave vent to a long sigh and a shudder.

  “There’s no other way,” he muttered. “There’s no other way. There’s no other way.”